but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What a dumb baby whore.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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