I CAN MOONWALK!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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