a queef is a wish your heart makes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize