I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
