There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
