i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
