so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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