I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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