just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
