I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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