somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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