Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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