you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
