im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
