i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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