he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
