were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
