you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
