"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
