I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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