Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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