I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
