If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
