her vagine was all disorganized.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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