If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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