I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
