Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
