so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
