you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
