Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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