it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You can't special order awesome
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
