so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
