dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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