hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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