yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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