So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Acid is not a monday night drug
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
