You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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