So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
