why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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