Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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