Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
wow bdsm is so cute
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
