I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
