she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
