Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
