Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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