his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
