Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
