im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
