Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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