All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
false alarm. still invincible.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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