What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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